I wish....

That it was socially acceptable to just not have anything to do with men.
I am honestly so sick of trying to put myself out there.
It only results in hurt feelings and seeing the ugly side of others.


I've decided to be a nun.

Recently;

I seriously am loving rap. No joke, 99%  of the time lately I am listening to either Atmosphere or Aer.

My nails are either painted black or nude. 

My hair is shorter. 

I am busy going to school/working and saving money so that I can take a fabulous trip to Cali. with my sister and best friend.

I've finally reached the point of exchanging words with the kid I've had my eye on since the 7th grade.

I'm reading the last song. I have an obsession. With the book/characters/setting

I only have school for two periods and it is the best thing. Ever. 

My room hasn't been clean since................ well. See I can't even remember. 

My face feels naked without lipstick on.

I'm laughing. A whole lot.

I'm trying to pretend that I love doing hair, but I can't fully say that I do. I'm really hoping that this changes.

The Carrie Diaries. I love it so much.

Is it bad that I love when my parents go out of town? Didn't think so.

I feel more grown up everyday. 

High school life is dwindling. And I'm having mixed emotions. 

because i love sydney b.

this week i, as well as many others lost an amazing girl & friend. 

sydney was one of the most genuine human's to grace this earth. she always had a smile on her face and never failed to make me laugh. i can't imagine how my life would have been if i hadn't had the chance to be her friend. the last time i was with sydney we laughed countless times but also had a couple of hours just to talk about life. i wouldn't trade those few hours for anything in the world. sydney was truly one-in-a-million. not a day will go by where i won't think about her and how much i love her. these past few days have taken a tremendous toll on my boy & heart. lots of tears were shed, but lots of smiles and laughs were also shared, and i know she would have wanted it to be that way. 

after many prayers and contemplation of the plan of salvation, i can honestly say that i am at peace. my heart is still torn and not a day goes by that i don't miss that girl to pieces, but i know that she is ok.

she will do incredible things and continue to watch over us every hour of the day. 

 these are just a few pictures of the many memories i have with this gorgeous girl. i can't wait to see that face again. 

these are also a choice few songs i've been listening to non-stop. such great songs for the situation.

thanks for the memories sydney b. 

I LOVE YOU!