lately the only feelings that i'm having are jealousy and being under-appreciated. 

i don't feel like i have a place anymore. feeling semi-replaced?


i just don't know. i hate things just not being regular.


i loathe the roller coaster of life.

Can I be honest with you?

College apps were due yesterday, and, well, I didn't apply to a single college. 

Some people have a great mindset about college. 

They know where they want to go, and what they want to be. 

I'm not in that boat. 

I am almost positive that I want to go into Fashion Merchandising, but I can't exactly pursue that major while living in the state of Utah. This past week has been one of the most stressful of my life because of this fact. I have no idea where I want to go to college, I haven't even narrowed it down whatsoever.

Now, most people would be kicking themselves for procrastinating, and not looking into things more deeply, but really I am not mad at myself. In fact, I think I am on the verge of making a decision that will benefit my life for, well, the rest of my life. 

I am seriously considering attending Evans hair school in January. Going part time, going to high school and hair school all at the same time. My older sister just recently graduated from Evans, and loved every minute of it. The more I think about this the better of an idea it becomes. I would be able to earn my certificate and start college that spring semester without the drop of a hat. I would have an entire year to decide exactly which college I wanted to go to and exactly what field to go into. Since my mom is also a hair dresser I would have a job at a salon, and I would be able to do hair while I would be going to school. 

I have to make this decision really soon. Feel free to throw out any suggestions, comments, or thoughts. 

I would love to hear what you have to think.