lately the only feelings that i'm having are jealousy and being under-appreciated. 

i don't feel like i have a place anymore. feeling semi-replaced?


i just don't know. i hate things just not being regular.


i loathe the roller coaster of life.

Can I be honest with you?

College apps were due yesterday, and, well, I didn't apply to a single college. 

Some people have a great mindset about college. 

They know where they want to go, and what they want to be. 

I'm not in that boat. 

I am almost positive that I want to go into Fashion Merchandising, but I can't exactly pursue that major while living in the state of Utah. This past week has been one of the most stressful of my life because of this fact. I have no idea where I want to go to college, I haven't even narrowed it down whatsoever.

Now, most people would be kicking themselves for procrastinating, and not looking into things more deeply, but really I am not mad at myself. In fact, I think I am on the verge of making a decision that will benefit my life for, well, the rest of my life. 

I am seriously considering attending Evans hair school in January. Going part time, going to high school and hair school all at the same time. My older sister just recently graduated from Evans, and loved every minute of it. The more I think about this the better of an idea it becomes. I would be able to earn my certificate and start college that spring semester without the drop of a hat. I would have an entire year to decide exactly which college I wanted to go to and exactly what field to go into. Since my mom is also a hair dresser I would have a job at a salon, and I would be able to do hair while I would be going to school. 

I have to make this decision really soon. Feel free to throw out any suggestions, comments, or thoughts. 

I would love to hear what you have to think. 

//Winter Staples

//Winter Staples by robynfitts featuring nars cosmetics

Rag bone cropped sweater
lagarconne.com

Zip coat
udobuy.com

J Crew j crew
jcrew.com

ASOS over the knee socks
asos.com

H by Hudson genuine leather boots
$330 - gravitypope.com

Vintage handbag
udobuy.com

Juicy Couture statement ring
piperlime.gap.com

Feather necklace
sheinside.com

Barneys New York loop scarve
barneys.com

Barts beanie hat
$58 - conleys.de

Chanel lipstick
nordstrom.com

Nars cosmetic
narscosmetics.com

NARS Cosmetics opaque nail polish
narscosmetics.com

Routine.

i have reached a point in my life where the only things i do, are the same things that i have always done. 

had the same habits, good and bad. 

lived my life for the same reasons, good and bad. 

not ever really standing out or standing up to what i believe in. 

having feelings for certain people that i didn't necessarily want to have feelings for. 

been the same, non communicative, introverted person. 

been unhappy for reasons which i couldn't control, because i was letting someone else's happiness determine mine. 

wanted something so much more that this small scale high school life. 

waiting for my attitude to turn around and for my life to get better. 

i am ready to be my own, but i'm not sure where or how to start this long and almost grueling process. 

as scary as it is to think about, high school is ending sooner than later, and this seems to me about the best time to be thinking about being who i really want to be. 

realizing that all people come, but not all of them go. 

that my life, can be what i want it to be,

my path is just being chosen,

there's always room for improvement, and that i'm bound to make a mistake or two along the way.  

well....yeah.

Does anybody have the cure to a bad week?

This week, has got to be the worst week that I have had in quite sometime.
The funny thing about it is, that nothing monumentally horrible happened to me, just a mountain of small things that really started to add up.
-Dumb things like, things are starting to go missing in my life. Ipod, wallet, sunglasses. So I spend my time sitting here while my brain rots away as I try to figure out where they could have gone.
-School is killing me. It's not even mid-term and I feel like my classes are harder than ever. (AP English, if you wanted a time consuming class to take, this is the one)
-Waking up in the morning feels 4000 times harder for some reason
-My motivation seems to have hit an all time low.

Everyone around me seems to be in this 'Pre-Thanksgiving' funk. It's not hard to tell that everyone is ready beyond belief for a much needed break.

It feels like life threw up on me and I'm just not sure where to start cleaning up.

The Head and the Heart

Russ Mayo showed my radio 2 class this video that he helped film the other day. It's a music video for the song "Sounds Like Hallelujah", by The Head and the Heart. It is seriously such a good song, and it's all recorded live. If you like any sort of music that is somewhat folk, you'll love this song.